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haha, i lol'd at a few..I know some people on here would like it :)




**Unknown Author**

Your 5 year old kid getting pushed down by another 5 year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police.

If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 911 is not the answer.

If a cop causes a car accident we usually get a ticket, and sometimes we get suspended. When is the last time you got 3 days off (without pay) for rear-ending a guy at Wal-Mart.

If you think you can get all the pot smoke out of the car before we smell it, good luck.

We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I didn't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of a Toys-R-Us, piss in my pants or pass out at a traffic light.

When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the RIGHT, and stop. We are usually required to pass cars on the left.

When you 're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't go 5 MPH under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in the SUV that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, go buy a lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.

When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a suspect in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions.
If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells you to get lost,
and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.

Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law.

If you drive a piece of junk, that is why you're getting pulled over.

In one week I pulled over 10 cars for minor equipment violations.
5 out of 10 had no vehicle insurance.
3 out of 10 had suspended driver's licenses.
2 out of 10 had warrants.
1 out of 10 had felony warrants.
1 was a known sex offender with his 12 year old niece in the car without her mothers knowledge.

If you've just been pulled over doing 70 in a 35, do not greet the officer with "what seems to be the problem, officer?"

We get coffee breaks too, and sometimes we run into stores and do some shopping during them.

When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for the officer to find the model #s and the serial #s of the stuff that was taken.

Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops don't like them either.

If it's nighttime and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and I pull you over, it's not because of your skin color. I usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the windows are rolled down.

Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman.

Yes it's true, cops usually don't give other cops tickets. Think of it as an employee discount, perk or benefit. Other cops are family and you wouldn't give your brother a ticket if you were a cop either

If your local police agency has a helicopter, everyone knows it's loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol officers and safely chase criminals that are driving 90 MPH
through city streets. Many times the guy has no idea it's there and slows down.

Police work is.......writing reports.

If you rob a gas station you're only going to get about $100, but I get
to see a K9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep the $100.

In one year of patrol work in a large city, only about ten minutes would be cool enough to be on the television show Cops.

Every traffic stop could end in gunfire, but we have to be polite and professional until that time.

I've taken both men and women to jail for domestic violence, so NO it's not always the man.

People love fire fighters. They can't give you a ticket!!! If Cops gave no tickets, people would LOVE them too.

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this traffic stop is on me.
Now sign here; press hard. There are five copies.
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ive had to deal with a poloce officer on three occasions and only one of those was unpleasant.
i think she had a long day
and i was doing 20 over and she wrote it for 15
the other two times well
no big deal
cops are ppl
and they put up with more crap than most
i understand why they may get cranky at times
 

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Still dropping trout
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Funny read. My step father used to be a cop in Dallas and he's told me some serious stories.. I've grown to the point that I don't hate cops, I hate congressmen. lol.
 

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i got pulled over once for having a damaged rear license plate light.

I got a warning though.

But, they kept on asking me again and again if I had drugs in the car or have been doing anything illegal.

I sort of figured out that they could smell the Djaram Black Cigarettes (cloves) which I smoked. Showed them exactly what they were smelling.

We all left happy. :D
 

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nayilsi said:
i got pulled over once for having a damaged rear license plate light.

I got a warning though.

But, they kept on asking me again and again if I had drugs in the car or have been doing anything illegal.

I sort of figured out that they could smell the Djaram Black Cigarettes (cloves) which I smoked. Showed them exactly what they were smelling.

We all left happy. :D
Man, I got pulled over a while back leaving a buddy of mines house. He happens to live next door to a meth dealer (nice house, family man secret kind of dealer) and the cop thought I was leaving his house and not my buddies. The cop pulled me over, got all my info and asked if he could search the car. I said no. He said "Can I search your vehicle?" I said no. This went on for about 15 minutes and I finally gave in and said "There's a pipe in my center console, a friend of mine dropped it in there." He went, got the pipe and continued to search through my car like it was a trashy couch on the side of the road and he was capt. edward damn scissorhands. After not finding any other paraphernalia he sat me down and asked me where the weed was. I told him at the dealers house. This went on for another 15 minutes and finally he just chuckled and told me to leave. To this day when I pass that cop we just wave to each other, lol.
 

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Skyline4life said:
I've taken both men and women to jail for domestic violence, so NO it's not always the man.
I know that from experience, my x-gf punched me in the back of the head 7 times, and some by standers called the po. Shes lucky i didnt fill her face through a car window.
 

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Yeah, but I still call B/S and the man not going to jail most of the time. Maybe it's because I live in the state with the most fuct up judicial system, but I've never heard of a single woman being taken to jail for domestic abuse.
 

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Skyline4life said:
When you 're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't go 5 MPH under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in the SUV that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.
I wish everyone would come to realize this. I really hate when everyone slows the fawk down because of a cop and I'm just trying to do the speed limit and can't pass anyone.
 
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