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270 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Ontarian were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Ontarian fumed, 'What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'

The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money

The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.

''Hello, George! Said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?

'George the greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of
blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

'The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my Ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.

'The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave soul.

'The Ontarian said, 'Why can't they f*cking play at night?'

Premium Member
4,294,967,295 Posts
Supper Man is flying throught the air and see's Wounder Women lying on the beach naked.

I am the man of steel I could fly down there and f-her befor she even knew what was going on.

So he fly's down the f's her really fast and takes off.

Wounder Women says what was that,and the Invisable Man says I dont know but my ass hurts.


270 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Caution..May offend others

A Muslim has died and arrives in Heaven
He is very excited as, all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he asks
'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up'
And he points him to a ladder that rises into the clouds Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbed the ladder in great strides.
He meets another bearded man.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Jesus. Mohammed is higher up still'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.
Once again, he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still'
Exhausted but with heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps, as he is by now totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son. I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?'
'Yes please, my Lord'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:

'Mohammed, two coffees please!'
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