Okay, figured out how to run for real. You alternate pushing W and O at the same time and Q and P at the same time.
Problem is I can only take about three steps before ending in a glorious faceplant or in a seizure like break dance move.
I had the most luck by just doing the split bounce crab walk technique. It took me all the way to 50 meters, where I found the sadistic game designers have placed a friggin hurdle. I proceeded to knock it over and push it for 6 more meters before falling with my legs behind my back.