10 Reasons why My Car is Better than a Man

[zenith931]

I wrote these up yesterday after a little thought. Enjoy.



10. Can't buy "men insurance" to protect against jealous boyfriends, dead-beats and slackers; I can drive other cars without mine getting mad.

9. No way to increase a man's performance with a few bolt-ons.

8. Harder to rent a man for 3 years, then turn him in for a newer, higher-end model.

7. The car will never develop a beer gut.

6. Can ride my car as hard as I want, whenever I want for as long as I want without complaint.

5. A car will do exactly as you say without question.

4. The car is always ready to have its stick handled and will never fail to deliver.

3. Can feed a car once a week for $30 and never complains about the monotony of its diet.

2. Men don't have resale value.

1. Men don't come with a warranty.

[918civic]

You forgot you can drive another car and your car won't get mad.

[zenith931]

Originally Posted by 918civic

You forgot you can drive another car and your car won't get mad.

I KNEW I forgot something...


But my car knows if I cheat. I swear she knows... Or, at least I feel guilty if I do.

Edited one for the good recommendation!

[918civic]

I'm sure there's more then 10 reasons. You should of put TOP ten reasons...

I don't drink but I have always liked this one:

http://www.pvv.ntnu.no/~steinl/vitser/beer.html

Best one: 7. HANGOVERS go away.

[zenith931]

Originally Posted by 918civic

I'm sure there's more then 10 reasons. You should of put TOP ten reasons...

I don't drink but I have always liked this one:

http://www.pvv.ntnu.no/~steinl/vitser/beer.html

Best one: 7. HANGOVERS go away.

I never said there weren't more than 10.

[doug piston]

Originally Posted by zenith931

I wrote these up yesterday after a little thought. Enjoy.



10. Can't buy "men insurance" to protect against jealous boyfriends, dead-beats and slackers; I can drive other cars without mine getting mad.

9. No way to increase a man's performance with a few bolt-ons.

8. Harder to rent a man for 3 years, then turn him in for a newer, higher-end model.

7. The car will never develop a beer gut.

6. Can ride my car as hard as I want, whenever I want for as long as I want without complaint.
5. A car will do exactly as you say without question.

4. The car is always ready to have its stick handled and will never fail to deliver.

3. Can feed a car once a week for $30 and never complains about the monotony of its diet.

2. Men don't have resale value.

1. Men don't come with a warranty.

what man would ever complain about #6???? i know i sure as hell wouldnt

[zenith931]

Originally Posted by doug piston

what man would ever complain about #6???? i know i sure as hell wouldnt

All men need a break eventually. The soldier needs to lay down for a little while after a battle, yanno?

[doug piston]

Originally Posted by zenith931

All men need a break eventually. The soldier needs to lay down for a little while after a battle, yanno?

gimme 2mins and 22 seconds and im ready to go. and if you can go without a break, well my name is adam and we should mate. i mean date

[zenith931]

Originally Posted by doug piston

gimme 2mins and 22 seconds and im ready to go. and if you can go without a break, well my name is adam and we should mate. i mean date

That's 2 mins and 22 seconds that I don't have to wait with my car!

And I have a b/f, thank you.

[doug piston]

Originally Posted by zenith931

That's 2 mins and 22 seconds that I don't have to wait with my car!

And I have a b/f, thank you.

im gettin married in 2 mons..... lets party

[P1ng]

why u only dating white cars?!

[illusionstwice]

WHat up girl...Why u taking shots at us men??? I thought I have always been there for ya! I see how it is...

TIme to return a couple shots....

Originally Posted by zenith931

6. Can ride my car as hard as I want, whenever I want for as long as I want without complaint.

Exactly how HARD can you ride an R18???

Originally Posted by zenith931

4. The car is always ready to have its stick handled and will never fail to deliver.

. . . . . .U can handle my stick anyday. . . .I mean....since yours is an auto

[/quote]



Justt messin wit ya!

[Si 07]

to OP, is this suppose to be a glimpse into what you think a perfect woman would be like? O_o

or am i just reading way too much into it lol.

[Type X]

When a car can lay the pipe like i can... you MIGHT have an argument...


but until that day comes.... your argument is null and void.

[illusionstwice]

Originally Posted by Type X

When a car can lay the pipe like i can... you MIGHT have an argument...


but until that day comes.... your argument is null and void.

The legend has spoken.


You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Type X again.

[zenith931]

Originally Posted by Type X

When a car can lay the pipe like i can... you MIGHT have an argument...


but until that day comes.... your argument is null and void.

I swear, you men get SO defensive when someone hints -- even jokingly -- that something is better than them.



I didn't know you could be THAT insecure.

Originally Posted by illusionstwice

Exactly how HARD can you ride an R18???

No matter how hard or how lightly I ride an R18, you could never keep up.

[Type X]

Originally Posted by zenith931

I swear, you men get SO defensive when someone hints -- even jokingly -- that something is better than them.



I didn't know you could be THAT insecure.

I'm not insecure....we just try to stop the 3% that listen to only Destiny's Child thinking that Beyonce & co are Martyrs from infecting the other 97%


yea yea yea we know you're a survivor....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hLB96GzlWio


Men Hater song

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OyMy7tFNAQY


Money Grubbin'

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sgiiRuEWoYY


and the list is endless.

[zenith931]

Originally Posted by Type X

I'm not insecure....we just try to stop the 3% that listen to only Destiny's Child thinking that Beyonce & co are Martyrs from infecting the other 97%

Ugh, I don't listen to that OR believe it. Beyonce et al date the worst men imaginable.

This was written in jest! For you men who get SOOO offended about how long you can be ridden or how hard, yes, I'm sure you can put up a much better, much rougher ride than mine or any other car can. It's called a JOKE.

Eeesh.

+ for Type X from keeping the tide at bay.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Type X again.

Ok, I'll jump you later.

[Type X]

Originally Posted by zenith931

Ugh, I don't listen to that OR believe it. Beyonce et al date the worst men imaginable.

This was written in jest! For you men who get SOOO offended about how long you can be ridden or how hard, yes, I'm sure you can put up a much better, much rougher ride than mine or any other car can. It's called a JOKE.

Eeesh.

+ for Type X from keeping the tide at bay.

I'm not upset about your thread lol
I just Loooooooooooooooooooooooooove to debate

Could someone who was a super douche have Sam cooke on his myspace page?


and

Ok, I'll jump you later.

[Izzy]

HAHAHAHA Sexual Innuendo! ...yes.