Advice Needed regarding spouse's smoking... - Page 3

JeShUa · 12-07-2006, 04:19 AM

some of you guys are assesing the smoking aspect of this whole thing,, and although this is what is at fault of everything, I see it as a byproduct
First off,, you guys have been having communication problems which I believe may be the initial cause of all of this. I dont know what could have caused these problems but they are there and need to be resolved before the smoking will cease. I think that if she really loves you, she would quit smoking, and not you accepting that that is what she does and is,, to the guy who uses crack as an example.. I would never date anyone who smokes crack or cigarettes,, not only because its disgusting,, but because if I love someone that much I could not bare to see them hurt themselves in that way...
What I recommend is you guys spending some 1 on 1 time.. hashing things out.. maybe go somewhere together.. I dont know.. whatever you think is right.. but I think that cigarettes for her are a scapegoat for something she feels is lacking.. and for her to smoke a cigarette in front of you and to turn around you confronting her was very disrespectful.. I dont think that everything is there.. it sounds like there is MUCH MORE TO THIS THAN CIGARETTES,, which will most likely go away once whatever else it is becomes resolved..

I wish you the best in your situation...

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12-07-2006, 04:19 AM	#41 (permalink)
JeShUa Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 13,278 i can has lower? iTrader: 12 / 100%	some of you guys are assesing the smoking aspect of this whole thing,, and although this is what is at fault of everything, I see it as a byproduct First off,, you guys have been having communication problems which I believe may be the initial cause of all of this. I dont know what could have caused these problems but they are there and need to be resolved before the smoking will cease. I think that if she really loves you, she would quit smoking, and not you accepting that that is what she does and is,, to the guy who uses crack as an example.. I would never date anyone who smokes crack or cigarettes,, not only because its disgusting,, but because if I love someone that much I could not bare to see them hurt themselves in that way... What I recommend is you guys spending some 1 on 1 time.. hashing things out.. maybe go somewhere together.. I dont know.. whatever you think is right.. but I think that cigarettes for her are a scapegoat for something she feels is lacking.. and for her to smoke a cigarette in front of you and to turn around you confronting her was very disrespectful.. I dont think that everything is there.. it sounds like there is MUCH MORE TO THIS THAN CIGARETTES,, which will most likely go away once whatever else it is becomes resolved.. I wish you the best in your situation...