A rant about cancer and denial

[Jaranath]

Warning: Some of the links referred to in this thread contain other links that are not work-safe, nor are they for the squeamish. They involve graphic medical images and, for obvious reasons, breasts.


Around this time of year, things sometimes remind me of the loss of a close relative to breast cancer. My apologies for being depressing, but it IS something that I think needs to be said, and frequently. I’m not looking to start a conversation on this, but neither do I mean to prevent one; frankly, I just needed to vent. This article brought it back to me, and I highly recommend you read it.

In short: Do not face cancer with denial. If you deny it, it will probably kill you. It is often a horrible death.

For those who don’t want to spend much time reading the article, a summary: The case described is that of a woman who lost her life to breast cancer primarily as a result of denial, complicated by a preference for alternative medical treatment. When she first discovered the lump, she attempted to deny the problem and refused to see a physician. As can be seen in the article’s links, the tumor progressed to become a very large, externally visible, bleeding, rotting mass. Now she sought treatment.

Upon first discovery her treatment would probably have involved only removal of the tumor and survival odds above 90%, but now it involved chemotherapy, mastectomy (removal of the breast), radiation, and a real, but below 50%, chance of survival. She began chemotherapy, and the tumor responded well, diminishing greatly. She then stopped all treatment in favor of an alternative treatment that considers cancer a traumatic psychological conflict that must be resolved, and physical symptoms as part of the “healing process.” The tumor regrew and spread, ultimately turning nearly her entire upper body, front and back, into the sort of ulcerated necrotic mass described earlier. Her death was agonizing.

The author’s focus is more on the patient’s choice of alternative medical therapy, and he and I very much agree on the horrible foolishness of that choice. But I’m not presenting this to rant on alternative medicine, but denial, something else the author and I share strong feelings on. The patient reached her fate primarily through denial of her condition, both initially and (I have little doubt) when she sought alternative treatment. Alternative medicine is often sought as a result of denial; many women have lost their lives because they were afraid to lose their breasts. I am not ridiculing the woman's fear, but I am denouncing it. And of course, denial goes beyond breast cancer and even cancer itself, into any serious disease carrying consequences we do not want to face and therefore seek to wish away.

I lost my family member to denial of breast cancer, and she died in great pain. I nearly lost my mother to denial of breast cancer. I will probably lose my father to some form of medical denial—when it comes to communication about his health, I cannot reach him. This happens far too often. Please do not let yourself or your loved ones suffer this horrible fate. Know the signs of cancer, and if you think you may have a problem, seek competent medical attention.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Jaranath

seek competent medical attention.

easier said than done now a days..

[eugenekim.net]

i had an aunt pass away about a year and a half ago. she discovered the cancer when it was 10 cm long then began treatment.

[Cybergypsy]

Thank you, my mom died of cancer also........

[prrnrngr]

I can now unfortunately add my mom to someone who died of breast cancer. She just died this morning at 5 14 am. We didnt know she was even sick until thanksgiving and things went downhill. she procrastinated for about a month about a lump but according to her oncologist the mass had been spreading between 5-8 years. I was there when she collapsed and I believe luckily for her it was heart failure that took her this morning. Please dont wait if you think something is up. my mom was very lucky to suffer as little as you can with cancer but many suffer much longer and much worse. RIP mom i love you

[DNieves]

Prrnrngr, please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family.

[si_civic]

A great topic for off-topic. +1

[CameronJr9]

This is such a bittersweet thread. It's wonderful to see such advocates for early detection, but it saddens me to hear of the great losses due to breast (and other) cancers. The breasts are a very intimate part of a female's body, so society has deemed it difficult to talk about. It's also a very personal loss (a loss of womanhood) when breast cancer strikes. I think these are the main reasons women have such a hard time talking about it or accepting the fact that they may have cancer.

I urge you, if you have any women in your lives, especially over the age of 40 (moms, sisters, wives, girlfriends, cousins, neighbors, whatever), ask them to have a mammogram. It seems silly, but it just may save a life.

[prrnrngr]

Originally Posted by DNieves

Prrnrngr, please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family.

Thank you it was a little easier knowing she didnt go through what most people with cancer do. It will be hard I am sure but I am at ease.

[RockALittle250]

Not to be disrespectful, but if your mother died this morning why are you online right now?

[prrnrngr]

Originally Posted by RockALittle250

Not to be disrespectful, but if your mother died this morning why are you online right now?

Because we are waiting on arrangements etc. I was prepared for this so I am not a wreck but everyone in the family needs a little distraction. I also remembered reading this a few months ago and it came to mind when i was sitting with my family.

[doug piston]

i agree with all that is said. i got sick and denied it for months. i was in high school and on the wrestling team and didnt want to give up my final season. because of this delay my tumor had grown to about the size of a tennis ball and was in my heart. finished the seaon and had open hearts 2 in a week to rid myself of it. dont not put it off. your health is most important

[Jaranath]

Originally Posted by prrnrngr

I can now unfortunately add my mom to someone who died of breast cancer. She just died this morning at 5 14 am. We didnt know she was even sick until thanksgiving and things went downhill. she procrastinated for about a month about a lump but according to her oncologist the mass had been spreading between 5-8 years.

I'm very sorry to hear this, man. Would hug ya if I could. Lots of things about living just plain suck.

I'm glad your mom did at least get some attention. Cancer doesn't play fair, so it pulls stunts like this (manifesting itself too late) all the time. I also just recently learned of another relative's diagnosis of terminal breast cancer. In her case, she'd been harassing her physicians for the past two years, insisting that something was wrong, that she simply didn't "feel right." Weight loss was her primary symptom. That's a genuine warning sign, but for two years nothing could confirm it...tests, mammograms, etc. Until now, when it's too late.

Anyway, it sucks. And I'm glad you made it through your experience okay, Doug.

[doug piston]

Originally Posted by Jaranath

I'm very sorry to hear this, man. Would hug ya if I could. Lots of things about living just plain suck.

I'm glad your mom did at least get some attention. Cancer doesn't play fair, so it pulls stunts like this (manifesting itself too late) all the time. I also just recently learned of another relative's diagnosis of terminal breast cancer. In her case, she'd been harassing her physicians for the past two years, insisting that something was wrong, that she simply didn't "feel right." Weight loss was her primary symptom. That's a genuine warning sign, but for two years nothing could confirm it...tests, mammograms, etc. Until now, when it's too late.

Anyway, it sucks. And I'm glad you made it through your experience okay, Doug.

so am i. so am i thats my only sob story youll hear from me on it.