Cats vs Dogs

GlxyGry06Si · 06-26-2008, 03:04 PM

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bimbos!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Leonard1818 · 06-26-2008, 03:22 PM

lol

bovanationlx · 06-26-2008, 03:25 PM

that funny, I like

clintonroche · 06-26-2008, 03:29 PM

Rotflol

**ImTheVoiceOfGod** · 06-26-2008, 03:29 PM

Imaginary +rep

MurderedOut08Si · 06-26-2008, 04:37 PM

i lol'd

volvo9 · 06-26-2008, 04:57 PM

haha

I love cats.

The dog part is so true, they do everything like it's their favorite thing ever.

spocheld · 06-26-2008, 05:03 PM

O I love this! It's so true though, that's why I don't like cats and love dogs.

BigT · 06-26-2008, 06:15 PM

"...seems more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded."

illusionstwice · 06-26-2008, 06:17 PM

I love it!!

Invisible rep (my favorite thing)

SoCal07Si · 06-26-2008, 06:19 PM

so damn true

hiwind · 06-26-2008, 06:32 PM

lol very funny, my co-workers and i enjoyed this one! Thanks

dongerneedfood · 06-26-2008, 06:43 PM

hahaha nice. very true though. i prefer dogs over cats

WhiTe~Si~ · 06-26-2008, 06:50 PM

i <3 dogs

i don't own any tho...lol

stealth · 06-26-2008, 06:53 PM

LOL very funny! I have a cat, but i also love dogs!

GlxyGry06Si · 06-26-2008, 06:56 PM

i have two cats. 1 of which is named vtec. hahaha

WhiTe~Si~ · 06-26-2008, 06:57 PM

lmfao !!!! ^^

missy867 · 06-26-2008, 07:48 PM

that is funny...i got 2 cats...i wonder if that's how they feel lol

duk · 06-26-2008, 07:48 PM

that was funny!

SoCal07Si · 06-26-2008, 07:49 PM

I have two dogs and 1, soon to be 2 cats.

The dogs just wanna play with her, the cat hates them tho

06-26-2008, 03:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
GlxyGry06Si Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Jacksonville, AR Age: 23 Posts: 7,089 iTrader: 3 / 100%	Cats vs Dogs DOG DIARY 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bimbos! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

06-26-2008, 03:29 PM	#5 (permalink)
ImTheVoiceOfGod Soup-R-Charged! Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: SoCal Age: 27 Posts: 29,097 Corsport Fanboi iTrader: 18 / 100%	Imaginary +rep __________________ Know the California Vehicle Laws! Save yourself a ticket! IE Taco Meet Round 2 / Nov 30th

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
reservoir dogs	fhound258	Movies & Music Reviews	0	01-15-2008 12:17 PM
Love Dogs and Kittys????	Cybergypsy	Water Cooler	4	01-13-2008 09:11 PM
nice guy must love dogs.... sigh	webby	Water Cooler	8	05-02-2007 10:41 AM
anyone like dogs????	tnel2005	Water Cooler	4	04-20-2007 08:52 PM
Honda Goes to the Dogs	GeezerSi	Water Cooler	3	02-02-2007 06:11 PM

06-26-2008, 03:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
Leonard1818 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: OH Posts: 3,233 Leonard iTrader: 0 / 0%	lol

06-26-2008, 03:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
bovanationlx Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: severna park, md Age: 19 Posts: 123 seth a bova iTrader: 0 / 0%	that funny, I like

06-26-2008, 03:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
clintonroche Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Tampa....Land O Lakes Age: 39 Posts: 191 Clint iTrader: 0 / 0%	Rotflol

06-26-2008, 04:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
MurderedOut08Si Member Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: teh obx Posts: 98 Mike iTrader: 0 / 0%	i lol'd

06-26-2008, 04:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
volvo9 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: North Attleboro, MA Age: 25 Posts: 2,280 Andrew iTrader: 0 / 0%	haha I love cats. The dog part is so true, they do everything like it's their favorite thing ever.

06-26-2008, 05:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
spocheld Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Fresno, CA Age: 25 Posts: 1,445 Jeff iTrader: 2 / 100%	O I love this! It's so true though, that's why I don't like cats and love dogs.

06-26-2008, 06:15 PM	#9 (permalink)
BigT Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Duff Beer Krusty Burger Buzz Cola Costington's Department Store Kwik-E-Mart Stupid Flanders Park Posts: 1,732 iTrader: 1 / 100%	"...seems more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded."

06-26-2008, 06:17 PM	#10 (permalink)
illusionstwice Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: DiRtY JerZ Age: 26 Posts: 19,567 The original --> "J" <-- iTrader: 8 / 100%	I love it!! Invisible rep (my favorite thing)

06-26-2008, 06:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
SoCal07Si Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Whitter, So Cali Age: 21 Posts: 12,146 Just call me Daddy iTrader: 1 / 100%	so damn true

06-26-2008, 06:32 PM	#12 (permalink)
hiwind Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Cali Posts: 880 iTrader: 0 / 0%	lol very funny, my co-workers and i enjoyed this one! Thanks

06-26-2008, 06:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
dongerneedfood Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: California Posts: 198 Chris iTrader: 0 / 0%	hahaha nice. very true though. i prefer dogs over cats

06-26-2008, 06:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
WhiTe~Si~ Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Queens Age: 20 Posts: 1,255 Reaz iTrader: 5 / 100%	i <3 dogs i don't own any tho...lol

06-26-2008, 06:53 PM	#15 (permalink)
stealth Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Montreal Posts: 1,400 iTrader: 3 / 100%	LOL very funny! I have a cat, but i also love dogs!

06-26-2008, 06:56 PM	#16 (permalink)
GlxyGry06Si Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Jacksonville, AR Age: 23 Posts: 7,089 iTrader: 3 / 100%	i have two cats. 1 of which is named vtec. hahaha

06-26-2008, 06:57 PM	#17 (permalink)
WhiTe~Si~ Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Queens Age: 20 Posts: 1,255 Reaz iTrader: 5 / 100%	lmfao !!!! ^^

06-26-2008, 07:48 PM	#18 (permalink)
missy867 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Jersey Age: 25 Posts: 21,282 Melissa iTrader: 0 / 0%	that is funny...i got 2 cats...i wonder if that's how they feel lol

06-26-2008, 07:48 PM	#19 (permalink)
duk Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Calgary Age: 24 Posts: 1,495 iTrader: 0 / 0%	that was funny!

06-26-2008, 07:49 PM	#20 (permalink)
SoCal07Si Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Whitter, So Cali Age: 21 Posts: 12,146 Just call me Daddy iTrader: 1 / 100%	I have two dogs and 1, soon to be 2 cats. The dogs just wanna play with her, the cat hates them tho