How to Drive in Miami...

[bizzybearfigiblue]

I saw this on a bulletin on Myspace and thought it was very funny and tru....bump it if u laughed at any of these...


1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Miami driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially someone from Florida or Georgia. With no- fault insurance the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in any County during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Miami driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home of high-speed slalom driving.

12. It is traditional in Miami to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Miami driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In Miami, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.


THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY

[Ep3racer954]

omfg! that is hilarious! rep for you bear! lol

nvm, it says i need to spread more b4 giving it to you again....

[NBPRudy]

Funny stuff bizzy.

My favorite,
14. In Miami, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

[Cybergypsy]

Sooooo true and for Fort Lauderdale!

[hondagoalie]

Haha.. Good stuff man.. When I drove down the Key West I passed through Miami and all this is soo freaking true!!

[Nomar06]

From my experience its always alot of gas pedal, alot of brake, alot of changing lanes, tons of traffic, and always cursing at someone.

[skittleslegend]

Now I'm nervous to drive through Miami...what if I don't flip the bird correctly?

[Si-aficionado]

^^In that case you may end up with the other driver chasing your ass till he gets really close, rear ends you or till you lose control of your car..believe me I see it all the time down here lol

You can get killed down here just by looking at somebody the wrong way..


Funny post!

[eugenekim.net]

freaking driving in miami is the worst...... WORST!

[Cybergypsy]

Originally Posted by skittleslegend

Now I'm nervous to drive through Miami...what if I don't flip the bird correctly?

Use a gun........

[skittleslegend]

Originally Posted by Si-aficionado

^^In that case you may end up with the other driver chasing your ass till he gets really close, rear ends you or till you lose control of your car..believe me I see it all the time down here lol

You can get killed down here just by looking at somebody the wrong way..


Funny post!

Originally Posted by Cybergypsy

Use a gun........

What she said^^^^ :)

[eugenekim.net]

driving on biscayne blvd and alton.... yeah... i had a crackhead run after my friends audi as im in the drive-thru and i remember this one time on the off-ramp a crackhead was doing a handstand for money. i love miami.

[FrostyGT2]

HAHAHAHAHAHA If you live in south fla, you know this is true, but if everyones gonna drive the way they do, you might as well be defensive your self, otherwise, your gonna get screwed. Tells you alot about our areas great citizens as well.

[Cybergypsy]

The problem is alot of people stop dead in front of you while doing 50, to claim injury this happened to my son,,,,,,the guy had 6 claims at the time of this one,,,,and he was driving a yellow cab......what a way to make money

[sheek360]

i hate the traffic here in miami, its insane. ive travelled all over the place, and the majority of miami drivers are just horrible.

[RSPjean]

LMAO!!!! god i miss miami

[Cybergypsy]

I hate S Florida.....wish it would fall into the ocean....all but the new Ikea they are building at sawgrass!

[bizzybearfigiblue]

Originally Posted by Cybergypsy

I hate S Florida.....wish it would fall into the ocean....all but the new Ikea they are building at sawgrass!

agreed....like i said b4 i feel that if you drive in Miami and live to tell people about it...then you can drive anywhere.....

i don't like to boast about doing stupid things on the street such as speeding or tailgating someone....but that's just how everyone drives down here....

take this rule:
"8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in any County during rush hour." If the posted speed limit is 70mph then EVERYONE is AVERAGING about 85+mph in the slow lane...or take 35 mph average traffic speed at that posted speed is about 50+......sad thing is i'm not kidding

you don't learn how to drive in miami you learn how to be defensive on the road down here.....

with that said all day

[Si-aficionado]

Originally Posted by Cybergypsy

The problem is alot of people stop dead in front of you while doing 50, to claim injury this happened to my son,,,,,,the guy had 6 claims at the time of this one,,,,and he was driving a yellow cab......what a way to make money

Oh man I had this one dude trying to provoke an accident doing just that shit in front of my car with his SUV and even with a cop car in the front of us!!..I'm like, this guy freaking nuts

I was soooo mad I just wanted to get off and drag his ass all over the hwy, but you have to learn how to ignore this type of stuff..

[Werkt06Si]

Originally Posted by skittleslegend

Now I'm nervous to drive through Miami...what if I don't flip the bird correctly?

either:
A. Pump your fist up and down in OR out of the window...the messages still gets sent out.
B. Use hand signals or hand gestures to show the other driver how effin pissed you are.
or
C. make sure you get next to him point your finger at him like if you are going to do something to him going 60mph.


with those..you'll be fine.

Originally Posted by bizzybearfigiblue

with that said all day

agreed