[Chase]

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and womendiffer so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Marsthing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and womenwith their heart.FOR EXAMPLE:One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting intobed.Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreadsto hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a womanenough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you justlove me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I wentto sleep.The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spendtime with her.We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she triedon several different very expensive outfits.She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd justbuy them all.She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,"Lets get a pair for each outfit."We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out apair of diamond earrings.Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought Iwas one wave short of a shipwreck.I started to think she was testing me because she asked for atennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,honey."She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of theexcitement.Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I thinkthis is all dear, let's go to the cashier."I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, Idon't feel like it."Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with abaffled, "WHAT?"I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enoughfor me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the thingsI buy you?"Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at leastthat bitch knows I'm smarter than her.Alright girls. Forward this on if you agree. Hell even if youdisagree, forward it on.Men, forward this on this because you have balls